Author: Michelle

I am a survivor. I have lived to tell my story; one that I have had a hard time sharing. I have lost 4 members of my family to suicide (one being my father when I was 16), and I lost my only sister recently to addiction. I am 44, and am here to tell and hopefully help people that are where I have been learn that they are not alone and there are people that want to walk them through their journey of grief; real life people - not someone who only has the education, with no real-life experiences to be empathetic to our pain and support us, genuinely. It is a tragedy when anyone passes, especially the ones that are so dear to our hearts. Losing someone to suicide is by far the most traumatizing, tragic and painful experience anyone will face; addiction holds a very close 2nd; we, the survivors, feel lost because there is nothing we could have done for our loved ones in either situation. Suicide has left me with no closure, unbearable grief, questions, guilt, helplessness, denial, anger, feeling isolated, resentment, etc. Losing my sister recently has resurfaced all of the feelings that I had endured and still endure due to the suicides that I've experienced. I describe the past 6 years attempting to save my sister from her addiction as a "Roller Coaster Ride". I truly believe that addiction is a family disease; my sister used and ultimately lost her life; but our entire family suffered and is now left to deal with the grief and questions. I've been broken by these life experiences; I am blessed that I've remained true to my faith and have allowed myself to be guided through the pain of this 25 year journey. It is now my turn to help others by sharing my story, the truth about suicide grief, and addiction grief; straight from my heart.