3 Years, but Who’s Counting?

Just because I had intentionally avoided my blog for well over a year doesn’t mean that I have been avoiding my grief, or that I’ve been doing wonderfully every single day, or that I don’t carry the guilt of making the dreadful decision, or that I don’t close my eyes each night & envision my sisters last breath, or that both my father & my sister don’t consume my mind – every.single.day.

I wish I could, but it is clearly not that simple.

Tomorrow marks 3 years since the day my sister passed. I have been working up the courage all day to sit down at my computer and Blog a quick update and remember Angela for the life she lived prior to her ugly addiction taking over. I now sit here – sobbing.

I am dreading going to bed this evening – because I will not only retrace the night before I traveled to Henry Ford to be by my sisters side for her last moments {visiting my sweet niece and nephew to tell them that their mom was going to be passing on the next day, laying in bed wide awake – all.night.long……}; I will wake up tomorrow – another day without my sister, her kids without their mother, my mom without her daughter, and my girls without their Auntie.

As I go through the motions tomorrow I am thankful to have some distractions – Jeffrey is on the Varsity Golf Team and he will be playing in an Invitational at GVSU – The Meadows all day tomorrow. Not only will Ty & I be there with him every step of the way I know his mom and dad will be rooting for him and so proud of his playing.

I know that both Angie & Jeff are so darn proud of both of the kids. They have good reason to be. Cayla & Jeffrey are pretty amazing kids (although I am extremely bias!).

I am super thankful my guy Ty will be spending this dreadful day by my side, providing lots of laughter & distraction.

So, anyone who reads this blog please do me a favor tomorrow…..

• Say a quick prayer for my niece & nephew
• Say a quick prayer for my mother & my daughters
• Silently root on my nephew as he competes in his match tomorrow
• If you have siblings – CALL THEM and TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM – or visit them and HUG them – I don’t get to do that anymore
• If you know someone who has a family member suffering from addiction or if you know someone struggling – show them my blog

angela rae van hemert-lenartowicz – 3.11.77-5.2.16
we love you, beautiful angel….