Author: Michelle

I am a survivor. I have lived to tell my story; one that I have had a hard time sharing. I have lost 4 members of my family to suicide (one being my father when I was 16), and I lost my only sister recently to addiction. I am 44, and am here to tell and hopefully help people that are where I have been learn that they are not alone and there are people that want to walk them through their journey of grief; real life people - not someone who only has the education, with no real-life experiences to be empathetic to our pain and support us, genuinely. It is a tragedy when anyone passes, especially the ones that are so dear to our hearts. Losing someone to suicide is by far the most traumatizing, tragic and painful experience anyone will face; addiction holds a very close 2nd; we, the survivors, feel lost because there is nothing we could have done for our loved ones in either situation. Suicide has left me with no closure, unbearable grief, questions, guilt, helplessness, denial, anger, feeling isolated, resentment, etc. Losing my sister recently has resurfaced all of the feelings that I had endured and still endure due to the suicides that I've experienced. I describe the past 6 years attempting to save my sister from her addiction as a "Roller Coaster Ride". I truly believe that addiction is a family disease; my sister used and ultimately lost her life; but our entire family suffered and is now left to deal with the grief and questions. I've been broken by these life experiences; I am blessed that I've remained true to my faith and have allowed myself to be guided through the pain of this 25 year journey. It is now my turn to help others by sharing my story, the truth about suicide grief, and addiction grief; straight from my heart.

by Michelle October 30, 2016 0

Addiction Suicide

Genuine Empathy Speaks Volumes….

The service was beautiful & the entire FH staff was exceptional. Every question that I asked, I received a prompt answer, things were handled efficiently, and actually being at the Funeral Home, I found oddly comforting. I found myself subconsciously thinking that “this is how a service for a loved one is supposed to feel — comforting”.

by Michelle October 24, 2016 0

Suicide

Of Course I’m Angry

What is there not to be angry about? My father has left us. I feel hurt and that manifests itself into anger. As human beings, we have a tendency to look for someone to blame. We usually do this in our anger because we’re trying to make sense of what has happened, trying to understand why our loved one has left us.

by Michelle October 19, 2016 1

Addiction Suicide

Grief has Changed Me

When a loved one dies, the pain is unbearable; losing a loved one to suicide leaves you, the surviving loved one, questioning yourself, blaming yourself, blaming others……the truth is, the thoughts, feelings & tears will come when least expected. You will get through this, it will get a little easier; but you will never quite fully heal. Grief Changes You.

by Michelle October 17, 2016 5

Addiction

She is Gone…Move On

I am not one to let my guard down, show my weaknesses, my grief, and my struggles to just anyone.Continue Reading

by Michelle October 8, 2016 0

Suicide

connect.support.listen.grieve.suicide. addiction.

I’ve been living with loss by suicide for over 25 years. Loss with no closure. The pain is less on some days than on others. I refuse to allow people to give me sympathy or show me pity; I’ve heard it all. I would rather have someone genuinely tell me “I know how you are feeling, I’ve been where you are.”